Since my Bayley died a couple of months ago I have been in a very mild depression. Well, not so much a depression but more as if a huge cloud of sadness is continually over my head. Even when not actively thinking of him I can't shake off this low feeling I have at all times when alone. Because of this I have been tending to not have the mental energy to rouse myself to do anymore than I have to.
I have been blaming the weather on not getting out and about on the trike, and have been grabbing at offers of lifts when visiting family and such instead of using my peddle power. But quite honestly, although the weather hasn't been very nice at all this year, being honest with myself now, I know that I have been using the weather as an excuse.
This has been self defeating as I know that if I were to get out on my bike it would lift my spirits, and the more one exercises the more one wants to exercise. So today I decided to force myself to get on my bike every day for the next month. Even if it's only to cycle a mile or two.
I got up this morning and after my first cup of tea and cigarette I went down and had a little cycle around for a few moments. No more than about half a mile. I would have gone further but for the last couple of weeks I have had discomfort in my left knee which has been bearable when resting and reasonably ok for walking when wrapped up in a crepe bandage. Unfortunately I really felt it when attempting to cycle today.
Due to this knee problem, I realised that I was cycling more with my knees than I had ever noticed before. So I did the test of putting my heel on the pedal at it's lowest to see if my leg was straight as it should be when in that position. It wasn't. My knee was very slightly bent. This of course means my saddle really should be raised about another half inch, maybe even an inch.
On getting back I tried to release the saddle lock to raise the saddle, but unfortunately me not being strong enough couldn't do it. However, the trike is ready for it's yearly service so I walked up to the cycle shop and made arrangement for the trike to go in on Tuesday morning for this. So when I collect the trike Tuesday afternoon I can get the chap to raise the saddle for me then.
To give myself the push to get out on the bike every day for a while to build up my spirits, I created a ticker to keep track of all miles cycled since the beginning of this month.
I have set a goal of 1000 miles to see how long it takes me to get to that. It could take a year, but it will be fun to watch them build up.